No Outside. No.

There shall be no open doors for kitties today. Oh no. There shall be no following mommy onto the deck while she waters the plants. Oh no, no, kitties. Because last night, when Cristian and I came home, Bill stealth maneuvered himself under daddy’s legs and sidestepped mommy’s hanging purse to ESCAPE THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR!

Now, Bill has escaped from the back door, onto the deck and nowhere near danger. He has also escaped from my old house in the middle of the woods, a good 40 feet away from roads and cars and a squishy death. But the front door of our current house is street-adjacent and shared with neighbors and is therefore COMPLETELY OFF LIMITS TO KITTIES.

There was much in the way of finger pointing and yelling in Billy’s general direction last night and a No Open Doors policy enacted as of this morning. This lockdown comes at the right time, I believe, because kitties have become too accustomed to open doors and outside jaunts and it being the last month of summer (and hopefully mommy will get another day job and leave the house in the mornings), kitties need to get used to outside not being an option.

Also, if we can get Captain to stop freaking nonstop crying to go outside, that would be super.

YOU ARE NOT AN OUTSIDE CAT! YOU HAVE NO CLAWS AND 3 REMAINING TEETH. ENJOY YOUR CUSHY MIDDLECLASS LIFE, SPOILED CAT!

No more outside, Naughty Kitties!

 

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2 thoughts on “No Outside. No.

  1. I’ve had to implement the same strategy for my one cat who, for two nights in a row, refused to come in until after 10pm (remembering that we are in mid winter here!!). Had a good giggle though – thanks for the laugh

    • My little monsters aren’t even outside cats, though! They get to go on the deck maybe once a week for 3 minutes. So why they’re all about outside these days is beyond me. They have no outside cat skills. Spoiled little monkeys!

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