Keanu Reeves Knows Cats

There’s a quote from the movie Constantine that I am reminded of every time my cats stare at nothing intently:

“Cats are Good. Half in, half out anyway.”

Keanu Knows Cats

It’s right before Constantine “kills” himself to go to hell and see if the lady he’s looking for is there. It’s ok, he comes back. He still hasn’t made a third Bill & Ted movie so he’s got lots to do before he goes for good.

This scene, this quote, this very concept is the reason I can’t watch Ghost Adventures with my cats in the room. Mind you, I watch Ghost Adventures not Ghost Hunters or Ghost Chasers or Serious Ghost Hunting Goodtimes (I may have made some of those titles up) because the overgrown frat boy approach to ghost hunting is far less scary than the super serious shows where people just open their eyes really wide and wait for me to freak out out of sheer paranoia. I like my scary stuff injected with humor.

“What the [expletive] was THAT?!”

However, the last time I tried to watch GA–and it was a really good episode that would have made me hide under my blanket and have nightmares anyway–Bill got his panic look and stared at the stairway until I was forced to look as well. There was nothing up there. Cristian was downstairs, Captain was sitting on the couch, and it’s a newish house so there better not be any freaking ghosts wandering around up there.

But I couldn’t help but look. There were no shadows, no bugs, no noises, and the lights were off. What the crap was he staring at?!?

I know cats can see things and hear things we can’t. They see those tiny dust spiders in the corner and they hear Cristian’s car pull into the driveway and run to the front door to greet him before I know what’s happening but… THERE WAS NOTHING THERE.

Staring at Nothing

Naturally, I convinced myself that I was surrounded by ghosts that only Bill could see and I put up my very best defense: I hid under the blanket and watched The Big Bang Theory until I stopped being scared.